“She’s back again master.”
“Who.”
“That fat woman with the extra mouth. I bet she likes pies”
“Honestly, grotlette, I wish you wouldn’t judge people on so simple a basis. She’s probably an accomplished harpsichord player or something.”
“Shall I bring her in?”
“Yes, but don’t leave us alone, she might try and eat me.”
As a busy GM, you have enough on your plate writing or preparing adventures for your next gaming session. Here at YWH, as you know, we like to share your burden. For this session, we have a few one shot or single-notable-fact NPCs to spice up your adventures. Perhaps, the PCs meet them on their journey between adventures. Maybe, they are important NPCs in need of a little extra tweak to get attention. Or maybe, the PCs ask someone unexpected for information, and you need an immediate fact to make the NPC noteworthy.
Why are the NPCs this way? Well, that’s entirely down to you to decide—or not, as you wish. Whatever the occasion, the homunculus always tries its best to please.
- Is bald but has painted black hair on their head
- Strongly smells of cloves, honey, and boiled lampreys
- Deliberately belches very often, often to musical effect
- Has a birthmark on their face in the shape of a raven
- Has a birthmark on their face in the shape of an octopus
- Has a birthmark on their neck in the shape of a badger
- Smells excessively of bleach and boiled sugar and camel fat
- Is bowlegged
- Is constantly surrounded by clouds of flies
- Smells feral
- Has pigtails ending in mummified rats
- Has extremely disagreeable breath
- Hums to themselves
- Occasionally breaks into little dances to imaginary music
- Shuffles instead of walking
- Fakes a limp but often forgets which leg it is
- Constantly chews whelks
- Has a pet slug
- Touches people they meet, excessively
- Never wears shoes
- Is markedly pale and sickly looking
- Always seems to have a cold
- Carries a dog-lead for a dog that is never seen
- Teeth stick out like a rodent
- Frets about their hair
- Chews a piece of wood constantly
- Keeps shooing away an imaginary cat
- Complains too often about the price of beef
- Has lots and lots of pig tattoos
- Claims to have been raised eleven times, the last one only partially successfully
- Has a very obvious tattoo depicting a three-headed, goat-faced halfling wearing a kilt and riding a roper into a volcano
- Wears a mask depicting their own face
- Has a dozen pet ferrets wandering about their clothing at any given time
- Frets about this year’s harvest and how it could be wiped out by stampeding catoblepas
- Hears imaginary storms coming and takes cover under staircases in abject terror
- Calls out to an imaginary hunting hawk
- Is always trying to round up imaginary chickens
- Collects nail-clippings to include in their huge masterwork depiction of Saint Tenturill being martyred in the Machine of Terrible Flensing Woe made entirely from nail clippings
- Is tailed by sly ferrets
- Plays an imaginary harpsichord
- Has the same black hen following them all the time, even in the middle of the night
- Is dressed as a scarecrow
- Hauls lobster pots around without reason
- Sings naughtily altered hymns
- Admires an obscure thing about one PC, obsessively
- Is almost always seen flying a kite shaped like a gnome
- Has a megaphone dangling from their belt
- Obsessively makes dolls out of fungi
- Is expecting their ludicrously wealthy uncle Sobbly any minute
- Hates living here
TO BE CONTINUED…!