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Pack Tactics Advice: How do I handle romance in the game?

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Pack Tactics Advice: How do I handle romance in the game?

It’s time again for the Kobold Press advice column, Pack Tactics!

Our roundtable experts this month are Ben Eastman, Basheer Ghouse, Victoria Jaczko, Brian Suskind, and Jeff Quick.

You might recognize some of these names from Kobold Press products such as the updated Tome of Beasts 1 and Campaign Builder: Dungeons & Ruins. And as contributors to this very blog!

Whatever questions you have about running a game, handling tricky metagame traps, and ruling edge cases, they’ve got an answer. Sometimes several!

Anonymous GM asks . . .

One of my players wants his PC to have a romantic partner. We worked together and made up an NPC for his PC to have a romance with. But I’m out of my depth when it comes to anything romance related. What do I do with this love interest? How do you run a love-interest NPC? What do you make them do proactively?

Jeff Quick: You are right to be confused. I’ve been married for 16 years and I’m still picking things up.

Ben Eastman: Romantic NPCs aren’t the most common narrative options in 5E-style play, and it can be a sensitive topic for you, for the player, and for other players who aren’t even directly involved. Button can get pushed. Some of those buttons you didn’t even know were there until the moment arrives. A number of good reasons here to mention lines and veils as safety tools.

Basheer Ghouse: I’ve had players who said their characters were married or had a love interest because it felt more realistic. But they didn’t actually expect to do in-character roleplaying about it. They were fine with it being off-screen because playing it out would be awkward for all involved. So one option is to keep the awkward parts in the background.

Victoria Jaczko: Romances can be super fun in games. It’s another way for a PC to show development and to heighten stakes for the story. (Romances are popular B-plots in movies and books for a reason!) But, y’know. Don’t make it weird. Or boring.

The guys are on target with not making it weird. But as for the “what do I do with this” . . . I think with all NPCs, but especially love interests, give extra care to thinking about motivation. You don’t need 20 pages of backstory and in-depth profiles. Just very clear motives that include things that aren’t about helping/supporting/living happily ever after with the PC.

Jeff: Make sure your NPC can pass a Bechdel test? That what we’re saying?

Victoria: Couldn’t hurt! I like to give an NPC two motivations: One is in line with how the NPC is meant to fulfill a role with the PC. So for a love interest, one motivation might be: “Support my lover, Jack McRavensheartboroughcroft, in recovering the Artifact of Badstuff.”

Their other motivation is entirely their own and has at least some potential to conflict with the first motive. For example, a secondary motive of, say, “Go back to wizard school and complete my training,” sounds fine and gives the NPC another dimension, but what happens when the NPC finds out the Artifact of Badstuff will irrevocably taint their magic? Or directly points to their old wizard school and their beloved mentor as a secret villain? With any luck, conflict and difficult conversations follow!

Ben: You definitely want to speak with the player about the “why” of this NPC. Their goals probably drive the extent to which you need to interact. It’s possible that the player thinks of a romantic relationship as part and parcel of their existence. Their partner may be a reason to adventure, no different than their home, estate, or other tie that binds. Thus, your player may just want to describe what he does when his character returns to town. If the player wants to explore a romantic relationship during downtime, then you may want to have a conversation with all your players about what y’all feel comfortable with.

Brian Suskind: I’ve run many games where a PC develops a romance with an NPC. The key is getting on the same page as your player. Out of game, ask these questions:

  • Are you comfortable with roleplaying this out with your GM?
  • Should the NPC be off-limits to the ongoing plot?
  • Can the bad guys target the NPC?
  • Is the relationship something that fits into your character’s long-term goals or is it just color?
  • Can/Should the NPC be at risk or even die during the course of the story?
  • Does the player control the NPC or should the GM?

These helps a lot to get you where you want to go. Respect the wishes of your players in all of this. For example, if the player wants the romance to be just a colorful thing that happens on the side, then don’t have the NPC kidnapped by villains. Otherwise, the more realistic you make the NPC, the more invested all of the players will be in them.

Ben: Part of a lines and veils discussion should involve how and whether you can use the romantic relationship as a plot point. I once had a player introduce a younger sibling as part of their backstory. Newish GM as I was, I thought that putting the person in the backstory meant that the sibling was fair game. When the sibling was ransomed by the bad guy, the player was visibility upset because she hadn’t contemplated that I would do such a thing. I rewound and rewrote the script to return her agency about her NPC. But it’s a lesson in having the discussion with players about the game. After all, we’re at the table to have fun with our elfgames.

Brian: In terms of your specific question: What to do with the NPC? If the NPC is not part of the plot (as determined by the player’s answers to the questions above), have them start a shop in town, or a business, or a tavern. Give the NPC something that allows them to interact not only with the PCs, but with the larger community.

If the NPC is fair game in ongoing action, do the exact same thing, but add the bad guys as people the love interest has a relationship with. Anytime you have an NPC that the players like and remember, it’s HUGE. They will go out of their way to protect and care for that NPC and that helps make your campaign feel more real and increases the stakes.

Victoria: The most gonzo romance I had to run was in a Reign of Winter campaign when the party’s druid centaur, using the winter wolf cloak disguise, distracted the winter wolf guard (in the city where the wolves had human forms, too) and then wanted to take her on a date. Then made a point of going back to find her, at the druid’s own peril, before they had to leave to convince her to come on the Baba Yaga-killing mission with them. There were alignment concerns too. She was NE, the druid was CG, there were a lot of IC philosophical conversations especially about “what comes after?” And a lot of logistical shapeshifting questions the rest of the party wondered about that I refused to answer.

Brian: That’s a big one: as a GM, don’t try to be edgy or push boundries with a romantic NPC. First of all it narrows the spotlight onto just that one PC. But it also has the potential of blowing up in your face. Either your player will be uncomfortable, the other players will be uncomfortable, you’ll be uncomfortable, or all of the above. Let the player and their character take the lead and model the romantic NPC on what they are doing.

What Do You Think?

How do you encourage your players to be more proactive? Be proactive and let us know in the comments or over on our Discord server!

Do you have a question for the pack? Let our pros weigh in on your tough questions. Then check back first Friday of each month for more Pack Tactics!

The post Pack Tactics Advice: How do I handle romance in the game? appeared first on Kobold Press.


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